Entitled Children
Young children have an amazing ability to entertain themselves when given something as simple as crayons and paper, pots and pans, empty cardboard boxes, sheets and towels etc. etc. The natural imagination that all children possess is a marvel to witness. Unfortunately, we now live in a society that finds it necessary to purchase things that are advertised to keep our children entertained for long periods of time with little self-induced imagination.
While some children live with parents who are physically absent due to extra work hours to make ends meet, other children live with parents who can more easily make ends meet yet absent mentally and emotionally. Absenteeism of parents whether physical or emotional, urge parents to assuage their guilt for lost family time by indulging their children.
Want & Need
While it is a natural desire for parents to give as much as they can to their children, it can also prove harmful. Parents have convinced themselves that they are not strong enough to experience their children’s angry temper tantrums, God-awful whining, long bouts of pouting, and sullen isolation from parents, thus they placate and give in to their children’s demands. What children really want and need from parents:
• Exemplify bravery and strength, especially during times of chaos
• Dependability on keeping rules, boundaries, and consequences for stability and safety
• Willingness to say “No” when necessary, even when it hurts
• Education about emotions and how best to work with them, not ignore them
• Teach children to always look for choices when they feel stuck
• Rely on intuition to sense what children feel and want, if those desired are appropriate
• Freedom to be uniquely, respectfully, and politely themselves
Create
Keep in mind we also do our children a great disservice when giving them empty praise for work they did not do. They know when a compliment is deserved and when it is artificial. By giving empty compliments, we create in the minds of children a sense of automatic entitlements, especially in boys. This continues a mindset within the minds of both gendered children a constant, expected receivership of compliments that then triggers unrealistic disappointment when praise is not forthcoming. This kind of thinking from the youth of our present time is troubling indeed.
“Many young people know a lot about technology, but little about values and morals, politeness and respect, disappointment and resiliency - that is our parental failure. ”